Sunday, 11 March 2012

How To Dismantle A Heart....


                How To Dismantle A Heart
Feelings are best expressed on a piece of paper. So, here I am jotting down one for my friend, trying to step in his shoes and view from his perspective.
It’s about a girl whom my friend says he loves but is pretty unsure of his feelings as he doesn’t know what to do. I did try to get a closure on his case and he was supportive enough to share it with me. Although the truth is that he had no option left and so here I am.
To start with, the most common love story, saw a girl, liked that girl, tried to talk with her but his behavior and habits “pissed” her off to be specific. Now, on the verge of breakdown (although he won’t accept it), somehow he’s trying to transfer his emotions into hatred for her but yet there lies the “soft” spot for her.
In her view, he’s a drunkard, a smoker, a filthy person and god knows what else. Well, yeah, he’s all of the above except for the fact that he’s a good human being and somehow she doesn’t want to see this.
Apparently, she’s just like the most of the girls, who tries to judge a person by their habits. Yes, habits do define a person’s image but it can never define the person from within. And, yes he drinks but it all started as an adrenaline rush but now most of the times he drinks so that he doesn’t drown in the sorrow of her and yes, he smokes but just to calm the nerves when he’s mind is infiltrated with random thoughts of her. I’m not saying that whatever he does is right, he does need to mend his ways but whenever he tries to, the very moment her thoughts start engulfing him again and weakens him to the very core and hence the addiction. But, still he has promised to get rid of his addictions.
It was not her fault that he started falling for her but neither was it his fault. It just happened, maybe not in a moment but over a period of time. His love or likeness (whatever would you want to call it) is “innocent”. He’s like a clueless person rowing a boat all by himself in a vast ocean and doesn’t know which direction to go, all he knows is that he has to reach an island.
In my view, the best thing that love offers is “innocence”.  And, some girls consider this innocence for stupidity while some; well they just fall in love with it. And, slowly enough, when your innocence is interpreted as stupidity by that person, then you tend to think, that person is “haughty”.
He said me that she had an attitude problem and she also was shy. But, how can a person be shy and attitude conscience at the same time..!!!! So, further observation brought me to the above conclusion, that she was just shy and did not poses an attitude problem but as I said people do misinterpret it and he did the same or maybe still doing the same..!!!!  So, this is his whole story and she isn’t talking to him still so I suggested him the best way out, “Step out of her life; if she can’t see the you for who you’re, then you can “never” make her see it”.
So, this is how you dismantle a heart…!!!!

So, AAGHRAN, as you requested me to write something about your scenario, so I did and that too while I was on a train…!!!! You’re one of the nicest person on earth that I know and ‘am grateful to have a friend like you, “GHUSU”……..!!    J J J
 

Saturday, 21 January 2012

Just a Game


                                                                    Just a game
Sometimes, I wonder if I did justice with my life because all we ever  try to do is to go with the flow of it. Just like a stone in water which once dropped keeps flowing with the flow of water until someone picks it up or it gets sidelined on some so called shore. But, the best part is that when a person picks up that stone, the fate of that stone quickly shifts to the holder of that stone. He will either keep it for some reason or pick it up just to throw it back in the stream of water again. Same happens with us. There is a striking similarity i.e. just when you think that you have nothing left in life or you feel like you have hit a rock bottom all you want is to be picked up by someone, someone who’ll either mould you again &keep you or someone who’ll just pick you up to throw back into the game of life…..Isn’t it..???
Well, I can’t speak on behalf of everyone but it has happened with me and I am very grateful to people like them who taught me to play the game of “life” again.
What are we…???
Just a solid figure of bones and muscles with a soul. This soul is what keeps the flame alive…the flame that someone ignites within you when you’ve lost every bit of faith in yourself or when you’ve lost the zeal to get up again. But, at least there is one difference between the rock and us. It’s the desire. The rock surely is a non-living thing but so is the desire until and unless we find the right way to or the right soul to ignite it. The rock can’t go back to the water itself, someone will have to throw it in the water, but we, we humans can do that on our own will. It’s not about giving up when life turns bitter or gets the bad of you…It’s about staying put and playing the challenge with a blend of desire. This is who we are,  we need to learn to get up every time we fall down and instead not turn into some rock and wait for someone to come along and put us back in this life’s game….
While I was in school, there was a particular quote put up on the wall that I admired the most…it read.. “Failure is not when you fail; it’s when you don’t get up again”. It inspired me every time I read it and that thought still lingers in my mind and some time’s it does its purpose…. i.e. to help me get back in the game……….

Friday, 13 January 2012

A new Day


A NEW DAY
___________

Waking up from a dream
the hardest part was yet to come
accepting the truth,that we are already done
No matter how hard i try
the past still lingers on
if faith was to trust then im already done


The bright blue sky
still calls me upon and says
"A new day has come"
leave no stone unturned
the past might shake you down
but you gotta hold it down the line
A new day has come

My wings are now broken
i have become too weak to fly
the patience is still there
that i might come across something better
But,
even deep down i know
nothing ever can be as sweet as you

The bright blue sky
still calls me upon and says
"A new day has come"
leave no stone unturned
the past might shake you down
but you gotta hold it down the line
A new day has come

Broken..!? Well Yeah...!!!!


                                                 Broken..!? Well yeah.....!!!!
It would be a lie, a very big lie if I said that I didn’t care about you. It’s just the fact that I know that your answer will be a “no” so actually I am pretty scared. I didn’t know what to say…when you gave me that grin look and asked me to be frank whether I loved you or not. I know I should have said “yes”, but come on we both knew what your answer would have been.
 So, now it’s all back to normal or as you would see it…but deep down inside even you know that I lied. All I need is a slight twist of fate, that someday, somehow I might get a “yes” from you. Yes, I’m living on that hope. It’s the only thing that compels me to keep the truth away from you. I surely have you as my friend and I’m not going to let the truth affect this friendship. Yes, it’s true that we don’t talk much neither are we in regular contact but that’s just another way to keep myself from spilling out the truth. But, every time we talk, even though it lasts for just an hour or so…I’ll admit that it’s the best time of the day, it sends a chill down my spine every time see you and run out of words if we ever talk face to face. I don’t know what to do now…all I can do is what I do best and that is to pretend….pretend like I’m over you and put a fake smile on my face.
 I tried to move on but every time I came back to square one, i.e. “YOU”…. I even tried falling love with other girls but every time it came falling down like a house of cards. I know that you don’t feel the same way and neither am I going to force you or make an effort towards it… Sometimes, it’s better to fall apart in order to stand together…….

Friday, 2 September 2011

THE CUPID :)


                                                               The Cupid
Penned this down  as soon as I returned to my room totally heartbroken and hurt….hurt by someone whom I loved a lot…but the reason for this heartbreak was “ME”…..yes…me….my action over the past couple of months landed me in this position……….—
Well where to start……
There was this girl, and I used 2 like her a lot….really lot….and dreamed of making her my girlfriend someday…but ….that dream remained a dream for my whole life. Reciprocating my feelings to her was surely d biggest mistake ma life…I lost her. But the good part was …we were still very good friends…..i was grateful to her…because of the fact that she was ready 2 accept me as her friend even after what happened between us and based on the promise that “I’ll shed away all the feelings that I have for her”….But, who gives a crap……!! I mean I just promised her such, so as 2 keep our friendship going. And there she was…so much unaware of the fact that I still liked her a lot……I mean, seriously…how can a gal expect a boy 2 shed away all his feelings, in a minute….i mean…I really liked her…no wait…maybe I really loved her…..
 But moving on… from the very next day…we were back on talking terms…no more sulking from her side. In fact she was way too cool….to mind about these stupid things…she was the one…the perfect gal that I had always dreamt of. But, still talking with that girl whom I proposed last night like a friend was getting tougher and tougher….and eventually we both started feeling bit awkward and so as to deviate from last night’s topic we started talking about our common friend and all the crazy stuff he was into…..we both were feeling comfortable then and this type of talking continued for a week or two..
But, I don’t know …but slowly and slowly….. I felt like I was drifting away from her…and unknowingly.. I was making her fall in luv with one of my best friend…!! I didn’t realize it……until today…when she confessed to me that she loved him. I frankly didn’t know how to react….because….it was all my fault…I was the one who was responsible for it…and yet, I somehow didn’t feel bad about myself….i mean…..keeping aside all those bullshit like… “your happiness is my happiness”….n all…I really cared about her a lot….and yet…somehow my actions landed my best friend in a position…..a position in which I always wanted 2 be…the position or license 2 sit beside her…n be the one, I wanted 2 be loved by her and wanted to someday become her boyfriend…
But poof…!! There it went, I blew it up again….i ,while trying 2 get that gal…ended up in giving that gal 2 my best friend…funny…as it may sound. But that was d truth…I ended up being the cupid… J