Monday 2 June 2014

The Silhouette in the Dreams

                                                                  Part-I

His brown eyes seemed bigger now, the lush pink glaze has now died out, his tooth has started to dig its way out of his gums but his clothes still reeked of the sharp-tasting smell of sulphur and sulphates. His crib was in a sordid condition, the edge of it broken at one end, the hinges creaked, whose sound would be audible with every jolt that his mother gave him, yet he lay there with his staggering eyes fixed on the ceiling above. The room had only one window to its left side and a door, the door also creaked with every movement and all this was included in an area of 10 square meters. It was his house, if that is what houses looked like. He was just 8 months in this world and already life had given up on him. Milk was his staple food and the water was so dirty that before boiling the water, she had to cleanse it using ground-earth techniques and yet it was insalubrious.

But, what could she have possibly done? With her husband working on a meager income at a local fireworks factory and the state still deserting their demands, there was very little hope to cling on to. Her youth had already eluded her, with the fine cracks in the hands and feet pretty noticeable, the skin had started to sag down forming an ill-looking persona of her; the tattered red sari, which was knitted at multiple places only added to her ill-looking charm and she hadn’t mentioned it to her husband but she had already started seeing things bit hazily, and she was only 27.She was one among many mothers who cursed themselves for bringing their children in this wretched world, because cursing was the only thing that they could afford to spend without thinking about the consequences.

His father, Harish, was a quiet person, rather beat-down with this work of his. He had been a part of this for a long time, for Harish’s father was into the same business. A look at his eyes, and you would see the calmness that lingered around. His voice was cracked but it still held the depth of his calmness. Needless to say, he was in a much worse condition than Kamala, his wife. With only one eye remaining -or whatever remained of it- he was practically a handicap; losing his eye in a work mishap that left many workers without limbs, where he was considered lucky, lucky enough to have his vision disabled rather than limbs. That night he thanked his lucky stars for keeping him alive while others cursed theirs for keeping them alive. In his younger days, he was a child whose hopes were free like the kites in the sky, he dreamt of building a palace out of his hopes and he wanted the world to know about him, about his story and about his family but fate had other plans. Time crippled his thoughts, brought an arsenal of distresses to break his castle but they were not enough, so time did what it did best, took away the remaining time from his father’s life-clock and then hell rained over. Without a job, he and his mother were left to rot, the people they knew shut their doors on their face and what remained of him was his will to fight, his will to not succumb to the pressure and so he found a job somehow, in the same factory where his father worked and slowly and slowly, he traded his dreams for his mother and their livelihood and then the fate smiled, satisfied with the job. He didn’t want the same thing for his son, Azad. He wanted him to dream, to achieve what he dreamed and then guide the others. He wanted him to believe in himself and that there is a place beyond this horizon of sulphur dust. He wanted him to be free, free to dream without the fear of being toppled over and so he named him, Azad.
                                                                     *-*-*-*-*

“The dal tastes good today, what did you put in it Kamala?”

“Sulphur, I think, you want some more, Harish?”

“Ah, why such a harsh tongue Kamala? I know you are not happy with what I provide but do we have an option here?” said a calm and composed Harish.

“I am sorry, I was just thinking about Azad here. I don’t think he deserves such fate as ours. We must’ve sinned in our previous lifetime to get thrown in a life like this, don’t you think?” said Kamala, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Now, don’t cry. Let us cherish what we have got. We at least have a roof over our head and manage a two-time meal, plus if we had sinned in our previous life, do you think, god would have been so kind to give us an angel in disguise? On the contrary, I think he wants to see, if we can appreciate what he has given us. I tell you kamala, Azad will fly one day, so high and so fast that even the clouds would have to look up and the wind will have to chase him. It’s in his name, Kamala.”

“You always keep on saying things like this, and even you know how shallow that sounds! We are two now and we eat so less. What do you think will happen when Azad grows up, hah?” asked Kamala with vehement.

“He will eat from my share.” said a smiling Harish.

“And if he eats from your share, then what will you eat? And if you won’t eat then how will you live and if you won’t live then who will provide for us?” said a teary-eyed Kamala and the droplets of the tears flow down her cheek and fall on the ground with the sound of each drop hitting the ground audible, such was the silence in the air.

Harish cleared his throat and tried to conceal the redness in his eyes and then in his usual self says, “Let’s be grateful for what we have today and not think of the future, for you never know what it holds for us. For, every tear that you have shed today in sadness, I promise, you will be shedding more in happiness when Azad gets older and achieves the greatness that he is entitled to. No one can take that away from him, not you, not me, not god.”

She wipes down her tears and pours herself some water and then begins to eat. With every bite off of the chapatti, she looks at her son-Azad-felling sad and determined at the same moment and they sit there completing the meal while the moon-light bursts in the room through the window and falls directly on Azad’s face, who is still looking at the ceiling, making imaginary gestures in the air using his hands and squealing in happiness sometimes, while his mother keeps looking at him and his father eats in silence, thinking, thinking about what he said and how much he actually meant.

The light goes out in an hour or so and Harish cries; the first time since his mother passed away; he forgot what the tears tasted like, so he let the drops flow and reach his lips and slowly he passes into the unconsciousness of the sleep. He remembers something, rather someone whom he had met years ago; the three-legged man......

To be continued...............

No comments:

Post a Comment