‘Til Death Do Us Apart
When I closed my eyes, all I could see was the wheels of a
car. The
car rushing towards my face and just as I kept watching, it smeared my face and
it was painted blood all over the road. This was the last thought that
my mind was able to visualize before I was awoken by the little drops of water
in my face and as I managed to open up my eyes, I could see that it was the
rain that broke my sleep. I turned around my head and saw my room-mate still
awake, I checked my watch, it was 15 past 3 in the morning. He bluntly said,
“Nasty drops eh?”
I smiled and answered back, “Yea, you still up?”
“Yep, that’s what it looks like, this crazy girl man, just won’t sleep and won’t let me, what woke you up sleepyhead?”
I snapped back, “A bad dream, a sweet feeling, I guess”.
“You cocky bastard, always need to say something gayish, don’t you?” and smiled.
“Yea, right, pass me the cigarettes man.” I asked.
“Here you go” saying that he threw the cigarettes at me.
I took one out and lit it. Although it was dark outside, few street lights shimmered, trying to stay lit. The dogs ran from here and there to escape the rain. I smiled from within and kept wondering whether or not I should venture out. I leaned back smothering the pillow by the wall and the smoke kept engulfing the whole of me. I passed the box of cigarettes to my roomie and he kept complaining about his new fling and all this time I had only one thing in my mind, I kept thinking about her, it had been just a few hours before she broke it off with me because of unknown reasons and I hadn’t even broken the news to my roomie as he always thought my girlfriend or ex-girlfriend as a slattern.
Many a times, he said he had seen her cozying up with others but I preferred to ignore. For me she was the perfect one but for her I wasn’t. It was all well and good and then suddenly this, I also for a little time thought of her as a whore but then again we all keep cursing each other in a relationship if that fails.
“Man, this girl, I’m telling you, she is a slattern.” My roomie suddenly infiltrated my thoughts.
“Why the heck do you always think of every girl as a slattern man?” I snapped back
“Because they are, and if it’s about Neha, then I tell you, I really have seen her with others, why don’t…”
I cut him off by replying, “Man, we broke up.”
His jaw dropped and all he could manage was, “Holy mother of god, finally, finally you listened to me” and flaunted a broad smile.
“It was her man, not me” I replied.
“No worries, it’s good that finally you can again start dating girls and not slatterns.”
I wanted to hit him but then again maybe he was right so I just kept mum and took another cigarette out and started puffing out.
He closed the lid of his laptop and turned towards me and said, “Phew..! Finally she let me go. Hey look it’s still raining, why don’t we head out and enjoy the early morning and besides there’s no office tomorrow. So you wanna join in?” and said that he reached out for his slippers and took out a smoke. I wanted to go out but was in a dilemma and now since I had a companion, I agreed to. My roomie was feeling ecstatic and started humming the lyrics of the song “Holiday” by “Green Day”, and he kept singing, “hear the sound of the falling rain, coming down like an Armageddon flame…….”
We raced out like children’s did when it rained and I really felt great and was happy that I came out,
I felt great, the pain indeed was going away and the felling of paranoia was clinging me slowly but strongly. I stretched out my arms in the air and let the pain go away and the smell of the wet earth felt sweet but just as I turned around I saw a distant light approaching me and then suddenly the next moment, the sweet smell of the wet earth and the pain that was in my heart was numbed suddenly when out of nowhere I saw the car rushing towards my face and just as I kept watching, it smeared my face and it was painted blood all over the road.
I smiled and answered back, “Yea, you still up?”
“Yep, that’s what it looks like, this crazy girl man, just won’t sleep and won’t let me, what woke you up sleepyhead?”
I snapped back, “A bad dream, a sweet feeling, I guess”.
“You cocky bastard, always need to say something gayish, don’t you?” and smiled.
“Yea, right, pass me the cigarettes man.” I asked.
“Here you go” saying that he threw the cigarettes at me.
I took one out and lit it. Although it was dark outside, few street lights shimmered, trying to stay lit. The dogs ran from here and there to escape the rain. I smiled from within and kept wondering whether or not I should venture out. I leaned back smothering the pillow by the wall and the smoke kept engulfing the whole of me. I passed the box of cigarettes to my roomie and he kept complaining about his new fling and all this time I had only one thing in my mind, I kept thinking about her, it had been just a few hours before she broke it off with me because of unknown reasons and I hadn’t even broken the news to my roomie as he always thought my girlfriend or ex-girlfriend as a slattern.
Many a times, he said he had seen her cozying up with others but I preferred to ignore. For me she was the perfect one but for her I wasn’t. It was all well and good and then suddenly this, I also for a little time thought of her as a whore but then again we all keep cursing each other in a relationship if that fails.
“Man, this girl, I’m telling you, she is a slattern.” My roomie suddenly infiltrated my thoughts.
“Why the heck do you always think of every girl as a slattern man?” I snapped back
“Because they are, and if it’s about Neha, then I tell you, I really have seen her with others, why don’t…”
I cut him off by replying, “Man, we broke up.”
His jaw dropped and all he could manage was, “Holy mother of god, finally, finally you listened to me” and flaunted a broad smile.
“It was her man, not me” I replied.
“No worries, it’s good that finally you can again start dating girls and not slatterns.”
I wanted to hit him but then again maybe he was right so I just kept mum and took another cigarette out and started puffing out.
He closed the lid of his laptop and turned towards me and said, “Phew..! Finally she let me go. Hey look it’s still raining, why don’t we head out and enjoy the early morning and besides there’s no office tomorrow. So you wanna join in?” and said that he reached out for his slippers and took out a smoke. I wanted to go out but was in a dilemma and now since I had a companion, I agreed to. My roomie was feeling ecstatic and started humming the lyrics of the song “Holiday” by “Green Day”, and he kept singing, “hear the sound of the falling rain, coming down like an Armageddon flame…….”
We raced out like children’s did when it rained and I really felt great and was happy that I came out,
I felt great, the pain indeed was going away and the felling of paranoia was clinging me slowly but strongly. I stretched out my arms in the air and let the pain go away and the smell of the wet earth felt sweet but just as I turned around I saw a distant light approaching me and then suddenly the next moment, the sweet smell of the wet earth and the pain that was in my heart was numbed suddenly when out of nowhere I saw the car rushing towards my face and just as I kept watching, it smeared my face and it was painted blood all over the road.
Despite my hazy vision, I could see a lot of things around
me, my ears were deafened and all the screaming and barking of dogs slowly went
mute and then my eyes shut out.
Although, I could hear my roomie shouting out to me to stay alive and my vision was switching back and forth from clear to hazy, amidst all this chaos, I lay there and my mind tried to cope up with it but nothing was as before, that magical feeling was venturing out in the rain turned out to have faded now and my heart was desperately trying to pump blood, somehow so as to stop itself from going out just like the shimmering street lights did but then it was all silence.
As I came to, my body seemed to have given up on me, I felt as I was not inhabiting it anymore; an out of experience. I realized as my phantom self-stared at my remains, on the road, blood splattered and immobile that I had been in an accident!
Yes, I was injured and then something clicked, I indeed was injured and I was no more.
What was real and imaginary?
Death Is real, my thoughts about my ex and all that was a mere figment of my imagination and was a distant thought now.
And as I stood there, my phantom self-concluded, to die is the most realistic experience you’ll ever have,…solid…stable…permanent…death becomes us.
Although, I could hear my roomie shouting out to me to stay alive and my vision was switching back and forth from clear to hazy, amidst all this chaos, I lay there and my mind tried to cope up with it but nothing was as before, that magical feeling was venturing out in the rain turned out to have faded now and my heart was desperately trying to pump blood, somehow so as to stop itself from going out just like the shimmering street lights did but then it was all silence.
As I came to, my body seemed to have given up on me, I felt as I was not inhabiting it anymore; an out of experience. I realized as my phantom self-stared at my remains, on the road, blood splattered and immobile that I had been in an accident!
Yes, I was injured and then something clicked, I indeed was injured and I was no more.
What was real and imaginary?
Death Is real, my thoughts about my ex and all that was a mere figment of my imagination and was a distant thought now.
And as I stood there, my phantom self-concluded, to die is the most realistic experience you’ll ever have,…solid…stable…permanent…death becomes us.
DISCLAIMER –
This post is vent for the author’s frustration, nothing on this post needs to
be taken seriously and any relation to dead or living is purely co-incidental.
#Peace Out…!! J J
#Peace Out…!! J J
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