The Silhouette in the Dreams

Part-III

Meanwhile, their conversation continues...

“What? I mean, how? How is it possible? You are no God, you are just a man!” said Azad, perplexed.

“Oh! Have you not been listening to what I have been saying? I am a dream trader; I have the body of a man, and the knowledge of a God. I am not your daily trader! I trade dreams. I appear only to those whose dreams amuse me, or rather, thrill me. Then I fulfill their dream, if I deem them worthy of it. This is who I am, and I offered the same to your father, but he refused! He said he will not challenge his fate, and vowed to go on with his life. The moment he made that decision, his universe split and that propelled him to a new dimension, and then the things happened as they were meant to, leading him to his grave.”, said Drotha, still maintaining the smile on his upper lip.

Azad was totally confused now; with the talk of universe and fate, and Drotha being some kind of supernatural being. What he actually wanted to know was about his father, for he had no interest in the heroics of Drotha and his fables. He was a kid, and the only thing that makes a kid happy is the sight of his parents or in this case, the story of his dad. Everything else Drotha said was secondary to him.  The only word that resonated in his ears was, “...your father...”.

“What of my father? What does this have anything to do with him?” asked Azad in a steady tone.

“He has everything to do with this! The decision he took that night is the reason that you’re standing here today! Heck, you wouldn't even have existed today if he didn't go to the factory that night. You see kid, with every decision we take, even the minutest ones, our universe changes. Things occur differently, very differently sometimes. This is the logic behind all things, and these very small decisions reflect on our future. These small decisions shape up our life and our dreams. The reason why we are able to realize our dreams is because of this. I make that possible. I make sure that one takes the right decision at every turn, so that he/she can realize his/her dream. That is what I do and that is what I offer you today, out of my admiration for your father” said Drotha, in one go.

“I don’t understand a thing mister, I - -”, Azad was cut in between by Drotha, who now seemed to lose his calm once again.

“See kid, let me show you what I mean using an example. Do you see that stone over there?”

“Yes”, replies Azad.

“Now, there are two cases here; either you pick up the stone or you don’t. If you don’t pick up the stone then its fine, your life will go as it should. But if you pick up the stone, then your universe changes, it takes a different route. Once you have the stone, either you throw the stone, or you keep it for yourself. If you’re keeping it for yourself, then it’s again well and good, but if you decide to throw it, then your universe changes again! This time, once the stone has been thrown, either it will fall on the ground, or on someone. If it falls on the ground then it’s again well and fine, but if it falls on someone, then again your universe changes. Now, if it falls on some old guy it's fine, he will shout and maybe curse you, but if it falls on some animal, or say an angry man, then it will come for you. It may attack you, and you may die and there goes your life and along with it your dreams; which you haven’t realized yet. But as of now you stand there, and the stone stays there. Nothing happens unless you pick that stone up. Do you understand it now? Within minutes you could have been dead, if all your actions took the wrong turn. This is what I do. As I said earlier, I help you take the right decisions for you, and help you in fulfilling your dreams. Do you understand?”, said Drotha, satisfied with the explanation he gave.  

“Yeah, I think I do, but help me understanding something...” said Azad.

“Yes, go on”, said Drotha. 

“You want to help me out of the fondness that you have for my father, right? But mother says, no one shows kindness without expecting something in return. So how come you are different?” asked a puzzled Azad.

“Well, I am no different than man, I have my needs. And your mother is a wise lady I must say; this is the ultimate truth about life. Well, to the point now; firstly, I am a dream trader, so I trade dreams. Yours for someone else’s. You see, I can’t give everything that a man desires. I fulfill the dreams of few and not of most. It has to be in balance, like everything in this world, there needs to be conservation of it. So in simple words, I can’t fulfill your dreams if I fulfill the dreams of other people, it has to be you or the others, not both. So, you bring me what others desire, their dreams, and I shall take their dreams and convert it into yours. Secondly, the more I help you out, the more you lose your soul. Am I somewhat clear, boy?”, asked Drotha.

“Wait, does that mean that if I tell you what my friend dreams of, then you're going to destroy his dream in order to fulfill mine? Is that it?”, asked Azad in a low tone now.

“Well, you make it sound so cold. I will just make sure that he makes all the wrong choices, which will split his universe, and I shall use that to make sure you make the right choices. You know - conservation!”, said Drotha.

“And the talk about soul?”, asked a bewildered Azad.

“Well, soul is the most fundamental characterization of oneself. It is what you are, your definition. In short, you will lose strands of humanity from your soul, along with few other things. Now, that won’t make you weak physically, but internally, you might end up weak. But when you will have so much of success at your disposal, what is the need of a soul? You won’t need it, kid.”, said Drotha.

Azad was finally getting it, he understood the trade now, and it was simple. You give with one hand, and take with the other. This is what it was about, all this time. Now, he understood why his father had to look the other way. Although his father was poor, he was not covetous. He was not someone who held all these materialistic things close to his heart. He was a simple man, of simple needs; all he needed was a three time meal, a roof over his head and a cloth to put on. That is what differentiated him from the others.

And it was now on Azad. His father had prepared him for everything, but not this day, not this moment. His father always wanted him to be independent, and maybe that's why, he never told Azad of this day. What was he to do? There was an expanse of success at one end and the sick, poor and old life at the other end. He was at the crossroads of life. One decision, and his life could change drastically. The dreams that he had seen, and his father had seen for him were within reach now. He was so close to it, and perhaps the closest he will ever come to realizing it. But it was his decision. The words of Drotha now resonated in his ears now, “…for every decision you make, your universe splits into two…”

It was his moment, the stage was set. The thoughts were Azad’s, but they couldn't materialized on Azad's lips. Azad’s thought of train was now running faster than he can keep up with. He was thoroughly confused.

Finally, Azad spoke, “Can I tell you about my decision tomorrow?”.

“Sure, why not. I will be waiting here, but don’t be late!” said Drotha, smilingly.

And said that, Azad turned and started walking towards his home. With his head held down and fist clutched, he slowly ambled away with thoughts in his head.

The End.

The Silhouette in the Dreams

PART-II – 14 Years Later

The stage was the same, the characters somewhat different and the story still going on. Azad was now in class 9; rising up the ranks of the education table. Kamala was now a house maid and used to work in 4 houses. It has been 3 years since Harish passed away. He never was going to live much, after that terrible accident that twisted his fate and his body. Kamala was now 41 years old but looked more like a 60+ woman, life wasn’t too kind to her. Well, kindness was never something she expected from anyone, be it man or god. She knew it was always going to be every –man-for-himself and so there she is; still sweating down more than she can, so that she can provide Azad with his education and food. He was a bright student of his class, always somehow managed to keep his place in the top three. Harish would surely have been happy today, had he been still alive.
 

This particular day will stand out in Azad’s life; because this is the day his life will be changed forever; just like it changed Harish’s life; on that very day of the fireworks accident. The reason he was not angry on gods for abandoning him on that day was that he knew it would happen. He knew when and where it would happen, and he also knew he had to get injured that night, for if he didn’t, his universe would have taken a different route. There would have been a lot of possible changes in his life, if he didn’t go to the factory that night; the very first change being that he would have lived to see this day. Now, how did he know?

The Three-Legged man.       

                                                        

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It was a pale summer evening, and Azad was returning from his school. The wind had died down, and the leaves didn't move much, nature wasn't too kind that day. Azad was walking through the forest, when he suddenly heard a rustling sound behind him. The sound that is made when someone walks silently over the fallen leaves on the ground.

“Is your name Azad, young boy?”, called out a hoarse and cracked voice.

Azad turned around and saw an old man holding a walking stick, clothed shabbily with his ears pointing out, and a perverse nose. Long nails protruded out with food stuck in between them, and a broken nail here and a torn out shoe there, creamy colored teeth and lengthy hair tied at the back to form a ponytail.

Azad starts trembling on his feet at the sight of the old man, and with a shaky voice he squealed, “Who seeks him?”

“Ah, that must mean you are Azad! Lovely to meet you, son. I am Drotha, a dream-trader. Or, also known as the three-legged man!”

Azad was now even more muddled; he kept looking at the old guy with his gleaming brown eyes as he tried to make out what this guy was saying. Finally, he spoke, “Where is your third leg? I want to see it.”

“Oh my, you are interested in my third leg more than the fact that I am a dream trader?” asked Drotha.

“Yes” said Azad firmly; slowly gaining his confidence now.

“Well son, you are looking at it. Everyone looks at it, and yet somehow cares to ignore it. Now, if you don’t see what is lying in front of you, is it my fault? Or, is it yours?” said Drotha, now showcasing a smile on his wicked face.

“Do you always talk in riddles, sir? Or do you not know how to answer straight?” said Azad, now holding the upper hand in the conversation, and beaming with confidence.

“You rat! You dare talk to me like that?! You little sarcastic, stupid fool!” says Drotha, now spitting venom from his mouth, and his feet quaking which is calmed by the walking stick. Azad studies Drotha from head to toe, and spots it. With a broad smile on his face, Azad exhilarates, “The stick! You don’t have a third leg, it’s the stick, and it acts as your third leg. That’s it!”

Drotha was still angry, but amused at the child’s observation. But his amusement was short lived, he started again at Azad, “I scold you and you ignore what I have to say? I am the dream trader! Do you know how many people would die to see me? Do you? Obviously, you don’t, you ignorant fool!”

“If they die, then what is the point of seeing you?” said Azad, half-willingly.

“Oh! You have got a sharp tongue kid; I’ll give you that. Why don’t you ask your father that? Oh, wait, you can’t because he’s dead! Do you even know why I am here? He asked me to meet you when you would be 15 years of age, but now it seems like a mistake for I can’t stand a conceited boy” and said that he turned to leave, and just then Azad shouted, “Wait! What do you know of my father? I am sorry sir, I didn’t want to sound that way, I was just being cautious. Please tell me about my father, and how do you know him?” Azad was now almost on the verge of emotional breakdown hearing his father’s name; the one person he admired more than his mother, the one who taught him to dream, and everything else in between.

“Ah, now you want to say sorry and seek answers? Where did that smart tongue of yours go? Answer me!”, said Drotha, in a wicked voice.

“I am sorry, sir Drotha. I won’t say anything anymore, please just tell me more about my father.”, said a sobbing Azad.

“Well, I am still angry at you, but out of admiration for your father and to save my time, I will answer you. But promise me you will behave yourself!” said Drotha in a commanding tone.

“Yes sir, I do.”

“Very well then, I met your father on the day of the firework accident, he was so full of life and dreams, I liked his self-belief, you know” said Drotha.

“The Accident?”, asked a bewildered Azad.

“Yeah, the one your father encountered before you were born, he had told you about that, right?” asked Drotha.

“Yes, he did. But he never mentioned you, or any like of yours, sir.”, said Azad. 

“Of course he didn’t. You know, he knew there would be an accident that night, before it even happened. But you know the funny thing, boy? I warned him about it, but he still went anyway. ” said Drotha, and smiled again.


To be continued... 

The Silhouette in the Dreams

                                                                  Part-I

His brown eyes seemed bigger now, the lush pink glaze has now died out, his tooth has started to dig its way out of his gums but his clothes still reeked of the sharp-tasting smell of sulphur and sulphates. His crib was in a sordid condition, the edge of it broken at one end, the hinges creaked, whose sound would be audible with every jolt that his mother gave him, yet he lay there with his staggering eyes fixed on the ceiling above. The room had only one window to its left side and a door, the door also creaked with every movement and all this was included in an area of 10 square meters. It was his house, if that is what houses looked like. He was just 8 months in this world and already life had given up on him. Milk was his staple food and the water was so dirty that before boiling the water, she had to cleanse it using ground-earth techniques and yet it was insalubrious.

But, what could she have possibly done? With her husband working on a meager income at a local fireworks factory and the state still deserting their demands, there was very little hope to cling on to. Her youth had already eluded her, with the fine cracks in the hands and feet pretty noticeable, the skin had started to sag down forming an ill-looking persona of her; the tattered red sari, which was knitted at multiple places only added to her ill-looking charm and she hadn’t mentioned it to her husband but she had already started seeing things bit hazily, and she was only 27.She was one among many mothers who cursed themselves for bringing their children in this wretched world, because cursing was the only thing that they could afford to spend without thinking about the consequences.

His father, Harish, was a quiet person, rather beat-down with this work of his. He had been a part of this for a long time, for Harish’s father was into the same business. A look at his eyes, and you would see the calmness that lingered around. His voice was cracked but it still held the depth of his calmness. Needless to say, he was in a much worse condition than Kamala, his wife. With only one eye remaining -or whatever remained of it- he was practically a handicap; losing his eye in a work mishap that left many workers without limbs, where he was considered lucky, lucky enough to have his vision disabled rather than limbs. That night he thanked his lucky stars for keeping him alive while others cursed theirs for keeping them alive. In his younger days, he was a child whose hopes were free like the kites in the sky, he dreamt of building a palace out of his hopes and he wanted the world to know about him, about his story and about his family but fate had other plans. Time crippled his thoughts, brought an arsenal of distresses to break his castle but they were not enough, so time did what it did best, took away the remaining time from his father’s life-clock and then hell rained over. Without a job, he and his mother were left to rot, the people they knew shut their doors on their face and what remained of him was his will to fight, his will to not succumb to the pressure and so he found a job somehow, in the same factory where his father worked and slowly and slowly, he traded his dreams for his mother and their livelihood and then the fate smiled, satisfied with the job. He didn’t want the same thing for his son, Azad. He wanted him to dream, to achieve what he dreamed and then guide the others. He wanted him to believe in himself and that there is a place beyond this horizon of sulphur dust. He wanted him to be free, free to dream without the fear of being toppled over and so he named him, Azad.

                                                                     *-*-*-*-*

“The dal tastes good today, what did you put in it Kamala?”

“Sulphur, I think, you want some more, Harish?”

“Ah, why such a harsh tongue Kamala? I know you are not happy with what I provide but do we have an option here?” said a calm and composed Harish.

“I am sorry, I was just thinking about Azad here. I don’t think he deserves such fate as ours. We must’ve sinned in our previous lifetime to get thrown in a life like this, don’t you think?” said Kamala, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Now, don’t cry. Let us cherish what we have got. We at least have a roof over our head and manage a two-time meal, plus if we had sinned in our previous life, do you think, god would have been so kind to give us an angel in disguise? On the contrary, I think he wants to see, if we can appreciate what he has given us. I tell you kamala, Azad will fly one day, so high and so fast that even the clouds would have to look up and the wind will have to chase him. It’s in his name, Kamala.”

“You always keep on saying things like this, and even you know how shallow that sounds! We are two now and we eat so less. What do you think will happen when Azad grows up, hah?” asked Kamala with vehement.

“He will eat from my share.” said a smiling Harish.

“And if he eats from your share, then what will you eat? And if you won’t eat then how will you live and if you won’t live then who will provide for us?” said a teary-eyed Kamala and the droplets of the tears flow down her cheek and fall on the ground with the sound of each drop hitting the ground audible, such was the silence in the air.

Harish cleared his throat and tried to conceal the redness in his eyes and then in his usual self says, “Let’s be grateful for what we have today and not think of the future, for you never know what it holds for us. For, every tear that you have shed today in sadness, I promise, you will be shedding more in happiness when Azad gets older and achieves the greatness that he is entitled to. No one can take that away from him, not you, not me, not god.”

She wipes down her tears and pours herself some water and then begins to eat. With every bite off of the chapatti, she looks at her son-Azad-felling sad and determined at the same moment and they sit there completing the meal while the moon-light bursts in the room through the window and falls directly on Azad’s face, who is still looking at the ceiling, making imaginary gestures in the air using his hands and squealing in happiness sometimes, while his mother keeps looking at him and his father eats in silence, thinking, thinking about what he said and how much he actually meant.

The light goes out in an hour or so and Harish cries; the first time since his mother passed away; he forgot what the tears tasted like, so he let the drops flow and reach his lips and slowly he passes into the unconsciousness of the sleep. He remembers something, rather someone whom he had met years ago; the three-legged man......

To be continued...............

Hope & Despair

I dreamed a dream set in the backdrop of reality  

I told myself not to trust the broken symphony

There were things that were meant for me    

There were stories which could be recited only by me

The fallacies have made me the way I am now               

I wanted to feel it differently; painless and slow

You are my light bearer in this gloomy night

Under these countless stars and white moonlight

I try to gaze towards the end of the creek

But my vision is bleak and my heart is weak

I am succumbing to the fear of losing you

But, I know our paths are always meant to skew

I'll let you go today, hoping to meet you halfway

So, adieu fellow traveler, we shall meet again in time,

When the moon starts to shine and the sun starts to bow

Under that twilight; my love for you, I shall show.

-          

One for You!

One for you!

Spell out your dreams to me,

for I am credulous;

spell out your aspirations to me,

for I am here to make you believe;

spell out your heartache’s to me,

for I will point you towards the greener side;

spell out your glee to me,

for I am here to proliferate it;

or maybe just tell me why you thrive for everything,

for I may provide you with something; confidence;

for I am what you make of me,

for I am how you hone me,

I am and I will be always there for you,

You just need to stop worrying and have faith in me,

for I am your heart and I do more than just pump the blood!

And My Heart Echoed

And My Heart Echoed

My fingers were itching to let go, to let them dive into the pool of the keys on my keyboard. It’s been a long time, since I wrote apiece. There are infinite reasons for this but the main reason is that my inspiration, my muse, the one who constantly nudged me to propel myself into the realms of writing was no longer around. She had dispersed somewhere with someone. Maybe the dreams that this “someone” had shown her were more boisterous than mine. Maybe he painted her another sky or just maybe, she was tired of those elusive dreams that I had shown her. Either way, the common remainder was me.

It’s been a couple of months now ; I feel sober, not love drunk like I was before. But, I will surely miss her presence. She was a natural aphrodisiac, her presence made me ecstatic. No, not in a vulgar way but in the same way as ones lover makes him/her feel. And now, all her thoughts just disparage at me. Few might call me a glib liar but now that she is really gone, I have nothing left to hide and no one to fear.

To begin with, she never really was mine; right from the start. It was just me, my feelings and my dreams. Though there was a time, when we did have something but I never really cared to give it that much attention.
So, here I am baring myself, accepting what I should have ages ago, immaculately. The present self does feel like an old friend who was ousted, long ago. The songs have now started to tickle my senses, the lyrics drilling a hole in my hard-shelled head. I am still waiting for that day when my thoughts will be my own and not of her. I am waiting on the day.

My soul is now mine for the taking, though still a part of it wants to crawl back to her, jump over the walls that she built between us, pierce through the confusions and reach those little strands of paradise, which once, we had shared.

“You were the one I saw coming and now I’m just confused who it really was and now I’m at the crossroads wondering which way to go and I have tried to run before and now I’m not running anymore.”


NOTE – Before someone draws some conclusion, the title is not plagiarized. Loved that book, so morphed the heading. :P :P :P

Cliche!

Cliche!

I’m searching for a new meaning
beyond your visible living
In the name of love,
lot has been entrusted,
In the name of love,
lot has been done
and a lot has been wasted.

Beyond the emptiness,
beyond the silence
I hope to reach a place,
where your presence will not be felt
where your existence will not bother me
where your life will never intersect mine
where we become more than just independent.

I always thought you to be the special one
one, who swept the ground off my feet
one, who made my heart skip its multiple beats
one, who gave a new meaning to my life
one, who taught me, it’s good to have hope.

But, a lot has been done in the name of love
let’s not add another reason to everything that we’re not.

Childhood for sale? I'm buying it!

Childhood  for sale? I'm buying it!

Little hands fiddling and curling up to make a shape. Innocence shining brightly a midst the pale view of the background. Shrieks of children creating a treble of shrill noises. Running, quarreling, complaining, crying, smiling, sharing and harmonizing were cheap commodities then, now everything has price. 

Now, no one can share love, one needs to buy it. Stills from the past do make me smile from within, from being an innocent young toddler followed by a childhood filled with a carnival of happiness and then the undying annoyance towards the mid-school with a little hint of his future to an adolescence of joyousness with charging hormones creating a person who now is, angry, bit selfish and has a sense of constructiveness finally ends up on a trodden path of life with the actions or course takes slight or no turn and evolving a man. And by this, everything is gone, few things for good and few just lost and difficult to re-live.

A new person with a different perspective to the world is born, a person coming out of paradise only to realize that a cave of darkness separates him from the realizing the goal to reach, the next paradise. Few, make it out early, few take time but eventually cross it. The hint is not about realizing the goal or cherishing what you have got, it’s about all the lost souls that you had to leave behind to get in shape.Earlier, life was simple, less confusing and less haunting.

The point of view has changed and will keep changing from time to time. It’s us who can try to be constant and stay in one piece.

Sometimes old memories just put up a smile upon my face. :)

To Infinity And Beyond....

To infinity and beyond

She walked past my theater of dreams
without even sparing a glimpse
she ought to have taken a different road
if I knew; I would have let my hand out.

The emotions will always be camouflaged
with a slight hint of annoyance and despair
she walked endlessly
from road to road, from lane to lane
to reach somewhere, infinite.

She stalled the traffic of my thoughts
she took hold of the mast of my desires
she mocked my helplessness towards her
she clinched my hopes and let it all burn.

Oh, what a sight, befallen in front of my eyes
the epicenter of emotions is going through turmoil
the dreams of the future that I had sewn, are now tearing apart
still she remains unfazed by this
and all she does, is walk towards the unknown,
to somewhere infinite and beyond.

K.L.P.D

She moaned and groaned, something must have clicked, I thought, I took it out and let it in again, still she made a hassling sound. I tried and re-tried to work on it, sweaty I was, tired I was, maybe she was too, I let her drink the cold water and then I made another attempt and inserted it again, this time, she didn't screech and the key worked and so, I closed the car door and drove off. 

(To Tell An Angel....) : "My entry for the Get Published contest."

Starting off with flings, starting way back in KG 2 (trust me…!); with 9 different girls at various stages of life, and ending up fixated on one, it’s been a hell of a bumpy ride.

Broke myself and fooled others only to realize the last standing fool is me. I kept switching from one girl to another and each time when I decided to get serious, either the luck would bring me down or someone else caught my eye, someone who was always there and yet I failed to look at her.

It’s about how lost opportunities become lost causes, how broken hearts can never be mended, how every tear drop that ever rolled can never be discarded and how falling for someone else while being in a relationship with the other can make you fall so hard, one day that you actually look at yourself with hatred.

The intensity with which one girl can make you go head over heels is numbing and from being a Casanova to end up like a “Devdas” or “Dev-D”. How someone becomes known from being unknown and how you put an end to everything and decide to be a one-girl-man.

How the girl whom I like, tied me “Rakhi” while we were kids and then just let it be an one-time affair and how the expression changed over her face when I told her that I was going to propose a girl and then how everything fell apart and all that remains are just the bits of broken trusts and unlevered ties.

She is the inspiration throughout the story. It’s the faintest of thought that drives me, and all because of the feeling of losing her has helped me find a closure with music, I changed, in short, Got into an IIT, made a band, learned to write stuffs, composed and recorded songs and all this for what?

So, that I could become at least something before I ask her to be my everything, and now I’m lost at the cross roads of life, I have options but there is none that I want to take that does not include her and slowly and slowly I’m falling apart, if I can’t tell her now, then I don't think i can ever.

She once told me while we went out, “ Isn't the feeling magical, when you read books like this and get to know what you meant to him, it’s the sweetest of all the feelings, I wish someday, someone does that to me.” And this is where I want to kick-in, if given the opportunity, I’ll want to do that for her, this way or another.

I know her answer will be a NO; I’m too late, but hey, if I’m going out of her life anyway, so why not go out this way.

“I don’t care if I’ll live to see the breaking of dawn after tonight,

if I’m allowed to stay with you just for the night”
(No sick feelings)
:P

This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs fromYashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India.

If you like it, then please do vote for it....(follow the following link) :-

http://www.indiblogger.in/getpublished/idea/270/

A ROAD-SIDE DWELLER

A ROAD-SIDE DWELLER

She was young but her body said otherwise
Tender hands were long gone, only rough patches remained
her efforts were not clandestine and vision had become bleak
She looked at her child sleeping quietly
and then set to explore her luck

Who was she?

A road-side dweller, trying to earn square meal for the sole child of hers
many a vehicle’s passed and mocked her sanity
many a person looked at her, showing no humanity
but very few did care to hold a thought for her suffering
but then again, all this made her believe she was disdain

She gasped for every penny, that we usually throw away
collecting litters in the meantime, hoping to meet her luck
that had eluded her for such a longueur
but still her fellow compeer’s told her to have faith
she smiled at herself and at others

Yet, another day passed without earning a single penny
she cherished, the long forsaken dream, which she saw
And along with it slowly dipped her child in the still water
just to watch her new-born gasping for breath and tears said the same,
and she cried and  whispered, “In some other world we will meet,
this world is much broken for you, it can’t be repaired.”
And after this, she herself jumped in the water, unceremoniously but peacefully
and yet the newspaper read, “Road-side dweller, kills one’s son and then in shame, does the same.”
And yet, no one could care less about the several reasons unknown…….

NOTE - It’s all fictitious…not aimed at anyone, so don’t draw any relations… :P  ;)  :P

A Crispy Apology

A CRISPY APOLOGY

“So what do you do?” , she asked me promptly, with a lingering tone of discomfort, carefully caressing the coffee mug , kept on the table.

I was feeling a bit bleakish and could clearly see this relationship not working through. She worked in a software company and how did we end up on date? Well, let’s say the mutual friends made this possible as they thought we both would be great for each other.

“Well, I’m currently with a software company ‘professional’ but can’t really promise how long will I be associated with ‘it’, let’s see.” I tried to introduce “humour” in the sluggishly going conversation as a rescue element to save this effort made by our friends.

She smiled a bit, she knew what I was referring to.
“You know, for a software company ‘professional’, you don’t look so….”
I cut her in between her sentence finishing it with, “well-mannered or professional?”
She smirked and said, “No. I mean you don’t look so qualified.”

“Hah”, I said with a n egoist smile and shot back at her, “So, what kind of person will be eligible for you, ma’am?”
She instantly replied, as if she was waiting for me to ask her this. “You know, someone who is fun, sensible and….. Understanding would be nice.” She replied.

“Well you know, I’m fun and not so sensible and well, definitely not understanding, so, I guess you have boarded the wrong train and I guess I don’t qualify then and yet here I am, out with you, bonding over a cup a coffee and an impolite crowd.”

She smiled, again and said, “Are you trying to flirt with me?”

“Well, now that you asked me about it, I think yeah! We’re out with each other and we don’t know each other that well, so yes, I’m definitely trying to flirt with you and that goes without saying. What did you expect from me?” I replied/asked with a smile.

“You guys are all the same, one smile from our side & you think that we've gone head-over-heels over you but what you don’t accept is that it is the other way round.” She was prompting me to get into a debate.

“No, no, no!!! I completely agree with you and accept what you say but you know I find it my duty to make you feel the same and I guarantee you that, I shall accomplish that.”

Suddenly, what started as a disastrous date was slowly taking its due course of action and somehow felt heartwarming. I was starting to like all of it now.

“So, who spoiled you so much?” she inquired.

“Well, I would like to take this opportunity to blame my mom and dad for it, they have been a real inspiration and….” and just as I said it, I remembered, the only thing that Rohan had asked me not to talk about, you see, her mom and dad were just recently divorced, so I better not have said it but it was too late, she had taken it personally and thus it followed.

“Well you left me in awe there. You are so confident of yourself and so self-engrossed in yourself and your “so called smartness” that you forget to draw out the conclusion that somehow all this over-procrastinated comment is making me feel uncomfortable. Don’t.” and said that she stood up and went away leaving behind the coffee, still warm.

It lasted barely 20-30 mins. and in all that time I somehow managed to ruin everything, I think I liked her but it was just too late and she somehow saw right through me although it was not my fault all-in-all but still it was my fault somehow, just somehow. I didn't go after her, I think I should have.

Well it was all 3 years deep in the past and now, I was waiting for the same girl in the same place under more or less similar conditions and there she walked in, just in the similar way she did 3 years earlier and the only difference was that I was more decent now. She came up to me and landed a peck on my cheek, we were now a couple and today was more or less one of the most important days of my life, that goes unsaid.
“So, what’s up with you?” she asked.
“Well, firstly, I’m sorry about what happened here 3 years back and looking at the present condition, I've been thinking about it for a long time and…” saying so, I bent over my knees and took out a ring from the pocket and completed the question, “….wanted to ask you, ‘Will you marry me’?”

And with an impeccable smile on her face, she abruptly replied, “Yes.”

J   J

NOTE-  Everything that has been narrated is totally a work of fiction, no relevance to actual instance, although the idea has been drawn from a real-life conversation. :)

Of all the sins, may god oversee these..

Of all the sins, may god oversee these

On a cold and chilly night, was roaming around, a woman, a woman in her prime 30’s named Marie. With every rush of wind, she held on to the overcoat even tighter and the teardrops were rolling down her cheeks, but she was wearing a smile, not being able to realize what she'd done. Blood was dripping down her hand and while she walked, she left a trail behind. The moon was hid in the clouds that night and being a remote part of the village, she wasn't able to see the next step that she would take. Driven by anger, she committed this horrendous crime. However, some would take her side.. those who lived what she was living through then and just when it became too much to bear, she snapped. She took out the knife from the knife stand and drove it right through his heart. It was all too sudden for the man to react and he froze momentarily, and so did she. Then she smiled and dragged out the knife slowly, mumbling a few words into his ears, “For all the times that you sinned, rest in peace”. She didn't have to push him back or something like that and all that the husband could manage was, “Y-o-u  Bi-t-c-h, go t-t-o  he-l….” and before he could finish his last words, his heart gave in. There he lay, at her feet like a lifeless creature. She was relieved and sad at the same time, but there was not a shred of fear in her eyes. She stepped back, the knife fell from her hands onto the ground, making a mild noise which was muted by the loud sound of the T.V. Her hands were still shaking, her mind trying to recover from all that just took place. She didn't wipe the floor or cleaned the blood stains on her dress, she just wiped her hand in the basin and let go of whatever happened. See, she was not afraid of getting caught; in fact, she wanted to get caught for the crime that she had committed. She was still in her senses, and as such, felt sadness for the lifeless creature lying on the ground, one whom once she fell in love with and hoped him to be her soul mate, but all that mattered no more. Her love, her husband was a fisherman. She knew there was no turning back and no point repenting what she had already done, so she took her overcoat and the knife in one hand, and walked past the room. She went out to venture in the cold outside, bolting the door behind her so that she gets at least a few hours to complete one last thing that she needed to do, before someone informs the local sheriff.

Many a times before, was she molested and beaten by her ungrateful, drunkard husband, who spent all the earned money on beer and other drinks. His beer tummy testifying to that, he always watched the game all alone, soaked in his own misery. He loved his alcohol much more than he had ever loved his wife. They have been married for 16 years now, yet they had no children. It's not that they didn't try, but every effort seemed futile and many would say that this was driving the man crazier. Her wife had been patient all these years, but she could take it no more. Her husband had lost his job and had been unemployed for the past 4 months,still no effort was made from his side to find another job. So she had to start looking for something, something that would pay her ample and would also involve pleasure, pleasure that she had been depriving for long, and her husband was an old-fat sack incapable of providing that. So, she did it. The first time, she was a bit shy, never being done this before.. but the bills kept piling up and she had to do it, no matter how hard it was for her. She said nothing and the man started what he paid for, the yanking sound of the bed was audible but her husband downstairs cared less. He didn't care whom his wife was sleeping with, as long as she kept the beers and the food coming. And to top it all off, she still received beatings and was beaten until she cried, crying loud enough to be audible to the neighbors, it had become a daily routine. She felt helpless. She possibly couldn't go to the police knowing that she'll be more or less dead, once her husband found out. Let's just face the facts here, the whole village knew what she was and what she did, and it wouldn't be long before the police themselves would be asking her for her services, summoning her every night without pay, and possible beatings worse than her husband's. So she kept quiet, for 4 months and all of this continued day-after-day-after-day, until one day she just couldn't bear it anymore, and did what she had to. That day is today, she wanted to make a point and that’s what she went to do.

Her customers were pretty much regular one's, most were unmarried while 2 were married. Even though their wives knew what their husbands were doing, they couldn't do anything to make them stop, because they were treated the same way Marie was treated by her husband. She knew what she had to do, it was all very clear in her mind. She visited the house of the two married and stabbed them to death. Although their wives didn't exactly applaud the act, they thanked Marie from within, for doing what they never could.

It was not long before the sheriff came to the crime scene. He was shocked by what he saw. He knew Marie, but never imagined her to be the violent type. Anyway, he asked the bystanders where Marie was and they all said, “She went towards the cliff, Sheriff”. And few whispered, “I think she must have committed suicide by now” and few were smiling and loathing Marie, that they couldn't stand up against their husbands.

The sheriff took his unit and headed towards the cliff. There she was, sitting beside the cliff with both of her legs hanging freely in the air, while she sat at the edge of the cliff. The wind numbed her thoughts and made her feel divine; the knife was kept beside her which was covered with blood up to the very handle. She shouted, “Hey Sheriff, what option does a woman in my position have, other than to kill that self-loathed bastard? He’d beat me the whenever he felt like, breaking so many bones in the process that I lost count. I sold my body countless times, hoping to provide for his comfort, and believing that he would change.. but nothing did. Not he, not his ways of treating me, not my life! What choice did I have Sheriff? What choice?!” And with that, she raised her hand in the air.

The sheriff replied, “That doesn't mean that you should take the law in your own hands! Besides that, you could have come to us anytime, we were there for you, and we are there to protect you.”

“Really?! Protect me, my ass! You know what would've happened if I went to you, you would have shoo'ed me first and then, after a few days you would have taken advantage of me just like they did. Then I would have to kill you as well, adding to my already long list of crimes. So it seems, I saved your ass, Sheriff!”, and saying that, she took a dive into the running stream of water flowing beneath the cliff. Before the sheriff or his department could do anything, she was out of their sights. She left behind the murder weapon, which was lying there with blood covered all over it.

Sheriff didn't know what to say. Deep inside, he knew what she said was indeed right. So all he could manage to say was, “Tag that knife, that’s the evidence!”, and saying so, he disappeared into the dark road. A teardrop did roll down his eye, but just a drop and the chaos at the crime scene continued..

NOTE- AGAIN, ANY RELATION TO DEAD OR ALIVE IS PURELY CO-INCIDENTAL. THIS IS A PART OF THE AUTHOR'S IMAGINATION. SO MAKE PEACE WITH IT FELLA’S!

'Til Death Do Us Apart.....

‘Til Death Do Us Apart

When I closed my eyes, all I could see was the wheels of a car. The car rushing towards my face and just as I kept watching, it smeared my face and it was painted blood all over the road. This was the last thought that my mind was able to visualize before I was awoken by the little drops of water in my face and as I managed to open up my eyes, I could see that it was the rain that broke my sleep. I turned around my head and saw my room-mate still awake, I checked my watch, it was 15 past 3 in the morning. He bluntly said, “Nasty drops eh?”
I smiled and answered back, “Yea, you still up?”
“Yep, that’s what it looks like, this crazy girl man, just won’t sleep and won’t let me, what woke you up sleepyhead?”
I snapped back, “A bad dream, a sweet feeling, I guess”.
“You cocky bastard, always need to say something gayish, don’t you?” and smiled.
“Yea, right, pass me the cigarettes man.” I asked.
“Here you go” saying that he threw the cigarettes at me.
I took one out and lit it. Although it was dark outside, few street lights shimmered, trying to stay lit. The dogs ran from here and there to escape the rain. I smiled from within and kept wondering whether or not I should venture out. I leaned back smothering the pillow by the wall and the smoke kept engulfing the whole of me. I passed the box of cigarettes to my roomie and he kept complaining about his new fling and all this time I had only one thing in my mind, I kept thinking about her, it had been just a few hours before she broke it off with me because of unknown reasons and I hadn’t even broken the news to my roomie as he always thought my girlfriend or ex-girlfriend as a slattern.
 Many a times, he said he had seen her cozying up with others but I preferred to ignore. For me she was the perfect one but for her I wasn’t.  It was all well and good and then suddenly this, I also for a little time thought of her as a whore but then again we all keep cursing each other in a relationship if that  fails.
“Man, this girl, I’m telling you, she is a slattern.” My roomie suddenly infiltrated my thoughts.
“Why the heck do you always think of every girl as a slattern man?” I snapped back
“Because they are, and if it’s about Neha, then I tell you, I really have seen her with others, why don’t…”
I cut him off by replying, “Man, we broke up.”
His jaw dropped and all he could manage was, “Holy mother of god, finally, finally you listened to me” and flaunted a broad smile.
“It was her man, not me” I replied.
“No worries, it’s good that finally you can again start dating girls and not slatterns.”
I wanted to hit him but then again maybe he was right so I just kept mum and took another cigarette out and started puffing out.
He closed the lid of his laptop and turned towards me and said, “Phew..! Finally she let me go. Hey look it’s still raining, why don’t we head out and enjoy the early morning and besides there’s no office tomorrow. So you wanna join in?” and said that he reached out for his slippers and took out a smoke. I wanted to go out but was in a dilemma and now since I had a companion, I agreed to. My roomie was feeling ecstatic and started humming the lyrics of the song “Holiday” by “Green Day”, and he kept singing, “hear the sound of the falling rain, coming down like an Armageddon flame…….”
We raced out like children’s did when it rained and I really felt great and was happy that I came out,
I felt great, the pain indeed was going away and the felling of paranoia was clinging me slowly but strongly. I stretched out my arms in the air and let the pain go away and the smell of the wet earth felt sweet but just as I turned around I saw a distant light approaching me and then suddenly the next moment, the sweet smell of the wet earth and the pain that was in my heart was numbed suddenly when out of nowhere I saw the car rushing towards my face and just as I kept watching, it smeared my face and it was painted blood all over the road.

Despite my hazy vision, I could see a lot of things around me, my ears were deafened and all the screaming and barking of dogs slowly went mute and then my eyes shut out.
Although, I could hear my roomie shouting out to me to stay alive and my vision was switching back and forth from clear to hazy, amidst all this chaos, I lay there and my mind tried to cope up with it but nothing was as before, that magical feeling was venturing out in the rain turned out to have faded now and my heart was desperately trying to pump blood, somehow so as to stop itself from going out just like the shimmering street lights did but then it was all silence.
As I came to, my body seemed to have given up on me, I felt as I was not inhabiting it anymore; an out of experience. I realized as my phantom self-stared at my remains, on the road, blood splattered and immobile that I had been in an accident!
Yes, I was injured and then something clicked, I indeed was injured and I was no more.
What was real and imaginary?
Death Is real, my thoughts about my ex and all that was a mere figment of my imagination and was a distant thought now.
And as I stood there, my phantom self-concluded, to die is the most realistic experience you’ll ever have,…solid…stable…permanent…death becomes us.

DISCLAIMER – This post is vent for the author’s frustration, nothing on this post needs to be taken seriously and any relation to dead or living is purely co-incidental.
#Peace Out…!! J J

.........................

Frankly, on a personal note, I’ll prefer love marriage over arranged marriage because of the many reasons known (well, mostly are known) and unknown.
Now, close your eyes and just think how would you want your wife to be?
 Tall or short?  Intelligent or dumb? Understanding or nagging? Independent or dependent? Fair or dark? Virgin or non-virgin? And there are many more criteria’s that can be added to the list.
And now, ask yourself very frankly that will be able to know all this the first time that you meet her or say the second time?  She may not open up to you or she even may. But, in the end if she doesn’t and then few years from then when you are Mr. & Mrs. And then suddenly one day she tells you that she loves someone else and so she wants a divorce or even worse than that, she says that she has an illegitimate child of her own with her lover or the worst someday, she just drops the bomb on you and says that originally she is a male and had gone under sex-change. What then? Your whole world will come crashing down. I’m not at all implying that any of these is actually ever gonna happen especially that sex- change one, but neither am I ignoring the fact that if not the third point, the other two might happen and before you realize what she just said, you’d want to jump out of the nearest window. There are chances that all these might also happen in a love marriage.
The thing is that, the world is now divided, one part is formed by our parents and the latter, us. Back in their times also, “cheating” among partners happened but the proportion was less and now it just seems to be increasing exponentially and this is a matter of concern because all that a man or a woman desires is to have a “better-half” with whom he/she spends rest of their life and that’s all that matters but in this present world, there lies this high requirement of “pleasure” that every partner in a couple desires and sometimes when one of them is not able to provide, the other seeks to find pleasure in other way and that is what leads to the ultimate end of a relationship.
Let alone, cheating and stuff, what about “household violence”?
When a girl gets married all that her father wishes is a better life for her and this what I say have witnessed in our village, girls are married off in an early age and then sent to her new home and there, she barely even knows that person but yet she is confident of the choice that her parents have made for her but what if in the future she comes to know that her husband is a drunkard and to top that she even gets beaten because apparently his mood is not good. So, this is one of the drawbacks of arranged marriage and this as we all know is very common. If she would have known her, she wouldn’t have ever got married to such a “human”.
You, see in love marriage people know each other and keep knowing each other until they are confident enough to walk to the altar or to become one from two and this improves the “trust-issue” among them and she knows his likes, dislikes, comforts, discomforts and an awful lot than a person can ever in a single-meet. The thing is that if you are dating someone then it is like a trial, if it doesn’t work, then you don’t buy that stuff or in this case don’t get married to but the direct leap to the marriage in arranged type does not guarantee that you two are perfect for each other and what if it fails? Then there are only two options left “live it” or “leave it”. This is the basic difference between these two “genres” of marriage.
I’m not all saying that arranged marriage is always doomed (in this present world) but just saying that if it comes down to comparing to the chances that a person would take, then I guess most will choose the second option i.e. love marriage or at least that is what I’ll choose.
This post was drafted in response to the contest "Love Ya Arranged Marriage" (http://www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange)

CounTry LanE

                                                             COUNTRY LANE

Shuffling through my playlist to listen to a song, something  having a soul as most of today’s song are all about rumbling of instruments and loud screeching of the vocalists backed by ear-deafening music(not that I don’t like it, I do) . So, decided why not take a trip down the “countryside” lane. And when it’s about country, we all know whose name will appear on top, yes the great Bob Dylan, “Blowing in the wind” titled under the same name of album was an instant success, With its strong lyrics it hit the core off the human soul, not to mention “like a rolling stone”, which can still be touted as one of the best songs ever, with its literary ambition, it cracked open the humane soul and appealing to the core. The album, “Highway 61 revisited” was an instant success and is still renowned as one of the best albums to be ever recorded till date. Other notable albums by Bob Dylan are, “Blonde on Blonde” and “Blood on the tracks”. However, the latter album does remind me of the song, “Idiot Wind”, it’s so lovable that you ever forget these type of songs.
Moving on, we can’t actually dismiss the efforts made by John Denver, another legend. With its whiskey smooth lyrics the song, “Take me home, country roads” titled under the album, “Country Roads” made an everlasting impact in the minds of millions. Other notable songs ever sung by Denver are “Rocky Mountain high” and “the eagle and the hawk”. Take my advice, if you ever plan on going on a road trip with your pals, then don’t forget to play this songs by Denver, trust me, it’ll take you down by such an incredible feeling that you won’t be able to express. Although, no rocky mountains exist in India but while listening to it, you’ll feel every ounce of that lyrics and your mind will be able to paint that reminiscing picture.
Although John Lennon was not totally country guy, but still would like to introduce him because of his some all-time great songs, “Oh! Yoko” and “Jealous Guy” and “Imagine”. All these three songs featured in the album titled under the name, “Imagine”. The album as it is described today as one of the most anti-political albums. Lennon quoted on his album, “This is one of the most anti-political, anti-religious, anti-nationalistic, anti-conventional, anti- capitalistic...but because it is surrogated, it is accepted.”
He surely knew how to sugar-coat a political message. Irrespective of the controversies, the album was a straight-hit.
The present generation of country singers does not have high numbers but still notable ones are “The Band Perry”, “lady Antebellum”, “Blake Shelton”, “Carrie Underwood” and etc. but these are the notables and known ones.
“The Band Perry” has released only one album so far. Notable songs are, “Hip to My Heart”, “All Your Life”, “Postcard from Paris”, “The Star Spangled Banner” and “If I Die Young”. The last single, “If I Die Young” was the best among others; it even was nominated for “The 53^rd Grammy Awards” under the category of Best Country Song but lost to Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now”. But, my personal favorite song sung by “The Band Perry” is “All Your Life”. The lyrics are very beautiful and wrote in a very beautiful manner and the vocals and guitar does the rest. Just lay back and enjoy and you’ll slowly feel it flowing within your soul.
Blake Shelton’s singles like, “God Gave Me you” and “Honey Bee” and “All about tonight” and “she wouldn’t be gone” are my favorites. Then there is “Keith Urban” who was climbing with the charts with his hit single, “Long Hot Summer” and what else, I don’t need to actually write something on “Lady Antebellum”, who doesn’t know them, they took the world by surprise by releasing hit singles like, “Need You Know”, “Just a Kiss”, “We owned the night”, “I run to You” and “Love don’t live here”. They raked up 5 Grammy’s in total in the 53^rd Grammy Awards and in total have won 7 Grammy’s and that too in a short span of just 6 years. They are being touted as the next big thing in country music.
Then there is “John Mayer”, termed as the “new god of guitar”. Basically an artiste of alternative, progressive rock and blues but with his new album “Born and Raised” has raised some eyebrows as where was he till now? The album has been given very positive reviews and some have quoted, “His best album till date”. Although, everyone knew that there existed a country side of him but never was it completely shown until now. It’s a classic album with beautiful symphonies and some serious guitar stuff and a total country style rock. It’s like soul-searching meets classic folk rock. The album consists of pretty nice songs, like, “Something like Olivia”, “Walt Grace Submarine Test”, “Love is a Verb”, “Speak for me” and then there is the title track, “Shadow Days”. Oh, how did I forget the other two songs? “Whiskey-Whiskey-Whiskey” and “Queen of California”. The stylistic change-up and unburdening tone accompanied with frequent guitar-riffs account for one of the best works of John Mayer. The title track “Shadow Days” is being termed as the best of the lot but others are pretty good too, it’s just that other songs haven’t been released in a music video. This new album is really worth dying for. DO LISTEN TO IT.

The face of country rock has changed over the years, no doubt in that but in a new and better way. It doesn’t mean that the earlier works by, John Lennon, John Denver, Bob Dylan and others can be discarded. No wonder they are good but the present ones are also not bad.
“Country roads take me home,………”

Creativity

                                      Creativity

Creativity is something that comes from within. It can’t be taught, can’t be learnt, can’t be borrowed and certainly can’t be copied. It can only be improved by constant efforts and constant practice. Creativity lies within everybody, it’s just that few see it and work on it, few see it but rather ignore it and few rather not see it at all. Creativity is like water, it takes the shape of the vessel it is kept and here the vessel is us. It depends on us how we mold it and what shape do we let it take. Creativity can be over whelming, can be an illusion sometimes also. Sometimes, we tend to do so many things or are able to do so many creative things that we end up thinking that we belong to an entirely different league, an “elite” one. We feel like we are golden and anything we put a hand on turns into gold, although gold here is metamorphic but still you get the idea right?
The closest that a man can come to perfection is not to perfect in every damn thing he likes to do but to instead identify “the” thing in which he is best and then nurture it but what happens most of the times is that we get tied up, confused and so overwhelmed that we are not able to decide the best of the lot and in this way that man ends up losing every bit of creativity within him not permanently but enough to tire him and compel him to quit that “shadow” of his that he once desired or dreamt of.
A man is a tough soul but even the toughest of soul can crack when that soul is not able to witness the light at the end of the tunnel, he gets scared and realizes that it’s time to quit chasing dreams and start living in reality. This is where the difference is, few opt out but few still keep moving forward just to get a peek at success at the end of the dark tunnel and they do.
Creativity is a different thing and reality is another different thing but to transfer the creativity into a reality is the biggest challenge or is the toughest exam that a man has to pass in order to live the dream. Few chalk out because they don’t feel like they have got it in them to do it while few are let down by their dear and near ones and that eventually crushes the will.
We’re all a victim of it. Sometimes, we feel like we can do so many things but yet we’re not able to find that one right thing. We’re living on the brink and have completely learnt to open our mind to any of it but if we don’t figure out the best of all the creativity within us, we might as well be lost in this crowd as I mentioned earlier and that’s what sometimes we’re afraid of the most and all that will be left is despair and remorse. We always wanna do so much more and in a unique way but without a guide even the smartest of people can get lost in a desert……. 

How To Dismantle A Heart....

                How To Dismantle A Heart

Feelings are best expressed on a piece of paper. So, here I am jotting down one for my friend, trying to step in his shoes and view from his perspective.
It’s about a girl whom my friend says he loves but is pretty unsure of his feelings as he doesn’t know what to do. I did try to get a closure on his case and he was supportive enough to share it with me. Although the truth is that he had no option left and so here I am.
To start with, the most common love story, saw a girl, liked that girl, tried to talk with her but his behavior and habits “pissed” her off to be specific. Now, on the verge of breakdown (although he won’t accept it), somehow he’s trying to transfer his emotions into hatred for her but yet there lies the “soft” spot for her.
In her view, he’s a drunkard, a smoker, a filthy person and god knows what else. Well, yeah, he’s all of the above except for the fact that he’s a good human being and somehow she doesn’t want to see this.
Apparently, she’s just like the most of the girls, who tries to judge a person by their habits. Yes, habits do define a person’s image but it can never define the person from within. And, yes he drinks but it all started as an adrenaline rush but now most of the times he drinks so that he doesn’t drown in the sorrow of her and yes, he smokes but just to calm the nerves when he’s mind is infiltrated with random thoughts of her. I’m not saying that whatever he does is right, he does need to mend his ways but whenever he tries to, the very moment her thoughts start engulfing him again and weakens him to the very core and hence the addiction. But, still he has promised to get rid of his addictions.
It was not her fault that he started falling for her but neither was it his fault. It just happened, maybe not in a moment but over a period of time. His love or likeness (whatever would you want to call it) is “innocent”. He’s like a clueless person rowing a boat all by himself in a vast ocean and doesn’t know which direction to go, all he knows is that he has to reach an island.
In my view, the best thing that love offers is “innocence”.  And, some girls consider this innocence for stupidity while some; well they just fall in love with it. And, slowly enough, when your innocence is interpreted as stupidity by that person, then you tend to think, that person is “haughty”.
He said me that she had an attitude problem and she also was shy. But, how can a person be shy and attitude conscience at the same time..!!!! So, further observation brought me to the above conclusion, that she was just shy and did not poses an attitude problem but as I said people do misinterpret it and he did the same or maybe still doing the same..!!!!  So, this is his whole story and she isn’t talking to him still so I suggested him the best way out, “Step out of her life; if she can’t see the you for who you’re, then you can “never” make her see it”.
So, this is how you dismantle a heart…!!!!

So, AAGHRAN, as you requested me to write something about your scenario, so I did and that too while I was on a train…!!!! You’re one of the nicest person on earth that I know and ‘am grateful to have a friend like you, “GHUSU”……..!!    J J J
 

Just a Game

                                                                    Just a game

Sometimes, I wonder if I did justice with my life because all we ever  try to do is to go with the flow of it. Just like a stone in water which once dropped keeps flowing with the flow of water until someone picks it up or it gets sidelined on some so called shore. But, the best part is that when a person picks up that stone, the fate of that stone quickly shifts to the holder of that stone. He will either keep it for some reason or pick it up just to throw it back in the stream of water again. Same happens with us. There is a striking similarity i.e. just when you think that you have nothing left in life or you feel like you have hit a rock bottom all you want is to be picked up by someone, someone who’ll either mould you again &keep you or someone who’ll just pick you up to throw back into the game of life…..Isn’t it..???

Well, I can’t speak on behalf of everyone but it has happened with me and I am very grateful to people like them who taught me to play the game of “life” again.
What are we…???
Just a solid figure of bones and muscles with a soul. This soul is what keeps the flame alive…the flame that someone ignites within you when you’ve lost every bit of faith in yourself or when you’ve lost the zeal to get up again. But, at least there is one difference between the rock and us. It’s the desire. The rock surely is a non-living thing but so is the desire until and unless we find the right way to or the right soul to ignite it. The rock can’t go back to the water itself, someone will have to throw it in the water, but we, we humans can do that on our own will. It’s not about giving up when life turns bitter or gets the bad of you…It’s about staying put and playing the challenge with a blend of desire. This is who we are,  we need to learn to get up every time we fall down and instead not turn into some rock and wait for someone to come along and put us back in this life’s game….

While I was in school, there was a particular quote put up on the wall that I admired the most…it read.. “Failure is not when you fail; it’s when you don’t get up again”. It inspired me every time I read it and that thought still lingers in my mind and some time’s it does its purpose…. i.e. to help me get back in the game……….